Rebekah Sanderlin and Joan D'Arc address a thought-provoking and important issue from slightly different angles. I'll be following the comments they get. I'd like to hear what you-all think here, if you're up for it.

Edited to add: Lola has offered this NPR article in the comments section, which is well worth adding to the discussion.

Gone

Thursday I had an ultrasound, the nuchal translucency screening, which looks for signs of Downs Syndrome and neural tube defects.

Our baby--Moose, we've been calling him or her--has no heartbeat.

It's still too fresh, too private, to talk about for me. I don't know how much I'll be here, or for how long the silence will last.

***

I wait for God.
Wait
more than watchmen
wait for morning.

More than watchmen
stiff, cold, tired, hungry,
eyes burning-I
wait
for God

Who numbers the stars-and
my tears-
and calls them
each
by name.

My fairy godmother brought me a new sewing machine today!

(And while I'm here, can I just say I think that it's hilarious that a substantial portion of people who come to my blog come to the post about the dress I wore to Dan's sister's wedding? I'm pretty sure it's the picture of Penelope Cruz that does it. . . .)

Another Appointment Down

Elijah's audiology appointment today ended with a big sigh of relief on my part: No need for new tubes at this time. Typing it out makes me sigh with relief again! His hearing wasn't perfect--a little fluid in one ear and a little retraction in the other--so I'm supposed to be watching like a hawk for hearing deterioration. But (for now) we've dodged another procedure-with-aenesthesia. Yay!

You Make Us Proud

General Cone says the soldiers on scene did a tremendous job of treating the wounded. I would expect nothing less.

Horrifying

My mom just called, and told me about the shootings at Ft. Hood.

The president summed it up well: “It’s horrifying that [soldiers] should come under fire at an Army base on American soil.”

It sounds like not much has been confirmed yet, and I can't imagine the pain of those in the waiting game right now.

Please Ignore the Toothpicks Holding up my Eyelids

Dan's mom stayed with Elijah for a few hours this afternoon. I took advantage of her presence to go grocery shopping without an assistant (and drive in the car in silence, and not have to talk to anyone but checkers for almost four hours. . . ). I also snuck in a wee bit of Christmas shopping. The respite was lovely. By the time I got home, I had accumulated enough energy to let Elijah help me work on the split-pea soup with me. And now I'm so tired I'm about to fall asleep typing. . . .

Banner Day

Today Elijah wore his Thomas underwear all day without an accident. He ate an entire two-inch-by-four-inch cracker and two slices of cheese for an afternoon snack. He ate all of his potato and drank all of his milk (which was really kefir) at dinner. They weren't huge quantities, but he finished his portions, and was very proud of himself. And then he ate some more of Dan's potato, after a bit.

None of this means he'll eat at all tomorrow--in fact according to pattern he won't eat at all tomorrow, or really for the next several days or weeks. But every time he has a peak day, the peak is a little higher. And I'm encouraged that he's taking pride in finishing what's in front of him.

I Voted

Driving to the community center to cast my ballot always gets me to thinking: about how amazing it is that I can vote peacefully and easily, without risk to my financial or physical well-being, or even undue expenditure of my time; about what a privilege and a responsibility I have as a voting citizen.

I had my first prenatal appointment today. We heard the heartbeat again, and everything else (whatever that entails) looked fine. The ultrasound last week didn't pay any attention to some of the things we really wanted to know, though, so we really aren't any forwarder in finding answers to our questions.

We have another prenatal visit scheduled in about a month, and in the interim, we're supposed to have a phone consultation with genetics--just in case any new information regarding genetic factors in isolated PRS have come to light--and an appointment with a perinatologist. The perinatologist is, perhaps not surprisingly, supposed to be better at looking for the kind of information we want on ultrasounds, and should be able to give us an idea of whether we'll be needing a higher level of monitoring through this pregnancy, or (we hope!) not.